rhymewithrachel:

fartgallery:

fire-is-better-than-water:

fartgallery:

mega—horn:

fartgallery:

butterbeer-forthesoul:

fartgallery:

are you greg

yes

hello greg

can we add another greg to the party

hello gregs

i am also greg

too many gregs

You could say it’s a…. congregation

holy-punk:

how much old could an old sport sport if an old sport could sport old

footmeetsface:

spoon-party-of-bombur:

multipack:

amyeatfeast:

stopthatitssilly:

alexkisu:

multipack:

f is for friends who do stuff without you

u is for uninvited

c is for clinging onto hope that you wont keep getting forgotten

k is for krispy kreme yum

this is not what i wanted this post to turn out like

one time i got in the shower and came out and no one was home and the lights were off, my entire family went bowling and forgot about me 

DOWN HERE IN THE DEEP BLUE SEA

iwilleatyourenglish:

iwilleatyourenglish:

once my baby was being really annoying so i put it in the basement but then i forgot and decided i didn’t want my basement anymore so i got rid of the door and then decided to do the rest later and when child protective services came they couldn’t get to my kid so they just wandered around my house

i’m talking about the sims please don’t call the police

pontmercyanide:

some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me.

and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about

and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.”

she meant henry david thoreau.

i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend

sherlockisthenight:

50-shades-of-thorin:

deppsex:

but why would you even give him the waterbed

he had scissors

for hands

scissors

I LOVE HOW THIS DOESN’T EVEN MENTION WHAT IT’S ABOUT BUT EVERYONE KNOWS.

who else has scissors for hands